Feels like home
by DSISandraPullman39
Summary: Even in death he'd proved he knew what was best for her and that was something she knew she'd be grateful for until the day she does and met him again to hear him say "I told you so."


**Feels like home**(From the grave story 6)

**Disclaimer:-** Don't own them just borrowing!

**Episode:- **None

**Pairing:- **Sandra/Gerry

**Rating:- **T

**Achieve:- . /group/new_tricksff/**

**Summary:-** Even in death he'd proved he knew what was best for her and that was something she knew she'd be grateful for until the day she does and met him again to hear him say "I told you so."

**Author's Note:- **The sixth story in the "From the Grave" series and probably the last though you never know if I hear a song that inspires me to add a little to it there might be more I feel like this is the last one though right now! Lyrics from "Feels like home" by Edwina Hayes.

"I was wondering if I'd be seeing you tonight." Sandra said quietly opening the front door and standing aside to let Gerry in. She knew in her heart that she'd not be the only one who'd received one of Jack's letters and he was so adamant that she and Gerry needed to make a change that she'd expected him to arrive she was surprised it had taken so long.

"Are you ok? I know this must be really hard for you, it's hard enough for me and Jack meant so much more to you." Gerry sighed the puffy edges to her yes and the scattering of tissues on the sofa telling him she was far from ok.

"Do you get one too?" Sandra asked not trusting herself to talk yet about what she hoped his visit was about as she handed him her letter and smiled weakly as he nodded hading her the white envelope out of his pocket.

Sitting in silence they read, neither daring to look at the other as the implications of what they were reading sank in. She wanted what Jack had said to be true more than she'd ever wanted anything before. She'd spent so long loving him that she'd given up hope that he might share those feelings and now that ope was flickering again and she couldn't let him leave without finding out if he felt the same. If she was going to move on like Jack had told her to she needed to know because the only way she be able to do it was to be with him or know she never could be and get over him.

_Something in your eyes makes me wanna lose myself_

_Makes me wanna lose myself in your arms_

Finally trusting herself to look at him she felt a storm of butterflies kick off in her stomach as he smiled, the softness in his gaze already telling her something was about to happen. She had no idea yet what that change could be but the tiny flickering flame of hope was fast turning into a roaring inferno.

"Is he right?" She asked quietly trying to think of the right way to ask what she needed as he set the neatly written letter on the coffee table before turning to face her. "Gerry is he right? Has he seen something I've been missing or are you here to tell me he was delusional o the meds he must have been on at the end had gone to his head? I need to know either way so say something please.

_There's somethin' in your voice makes my heart beat fast_

_Hope this feeling lasts for the rest of my life._

"Do you want it to be true? If I told you it was, that I love you, that he's right I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy, would you be pleased or would you be trying to think of a way to let me down gently?" Gerry replied as she felt her pulse race and the surge of love that engulfed her in that moment was something she knew she'd quickly become reliant on.

"I'd tell you that I loved you too and that I have for as long, maybe longer than you loved me." She whispered the need to tell him, to make him understand how much she needed him over taking her cautiousness.

_If you knew how lonely my life has been_

_And how long I've been alone_

_And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along_

_And change my life the way you've done_

"I never believed you could feel the same about me. I never believed you'd fall in love with me." She continued quietly as she moved a little closer to him on the sofa the hairs on the back of her neck standing on edge as he gently stroked her cheek and she leaned into his touch.

"I've loved you almost from the day we met, how could I not? You're amazing Sandra but I never believed you'd love me either. I've seen the sort of guys you've been with in the years we've known each other, why would you want me?" Gerry sighed the sad edge to his gaze making her even more determined to show he how wrong he was.

"None of them ever came close to you. I've been waiting my whole life to love someone the way I loved you and the thought that you couldn't love me too has been the most heart breaking experience of my life. I don't know if you want me, I don't know if this is all just a reaction to Jack's death and it will end when you realise you got caught up in the moment but for me it's real. I love you and UCOS or no UCOS I want you in my life." Sandra replied biting gently on her lip praying she wasn't pushing too fast but desperate not to waste the opportunity Jack had given her.

_A window breaks down a long dark street_

_And a siren wails in the night_

_But I'm alright 'cause I'm here with you_

_And I can almost see through the dark there's light_

"Do you think I'd be here if it wasn't just as real for me Sandra? Do you think I'd use this as some sordid opportunity and make things worse for you when you already have so much to deal with?" The illusion to Jack's death stopped her heart momentarily as she was again attacked by the sorrow that had been engulfing her before he arrived. The loss of Jack and the way he chose to die was something they'd never understand, she knew that but now, with him pulling her gently toward him kissing her softly she knew that together they'd be able to come to terms with it.

"Do it again." She whispered when he released his hold on her lips leaving them tingling with anticipation, desperate to feel it again, desperate to feel the love in his kiss as she just had.

_Well if you knew how much this moment means to me_

_And how long I've waited for your touch_

_And if you knew how happy you're making me_

_I never thought that I'd love someone so much_

As he did exactly as she asked, deepening the connection between them this time his hands running down her back she drank in the way he felt, memorising the moment, determined to be able to recall it forever. The way her body instinctively reacted to him, the way he seemed to instinctively know where and how to touch her made the love she already felt soar and everything else seem to fall into place.

"I love you Sandra, this isn't a reaction to Jack's death or whatever else you're worried it might be it's just as real for me as it is for you. I want to be with you not just for tonight but for the rest of our lives if you'll have me." Gerry smiled as they finally separated again and he pulled her gently onto his lap playing with the ends of her hair as he spoke.

"I can't think of anything I'd rather so than spent the rest of my life loving you." She replied lettering the contentment washing over her sate all the doubts she'd still been feeling.

_It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me_

_It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from_

_It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me_

_It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong._

Letting him take control kissing her again and losing herself in how right it felt she knew that this was what she'd been waiting her whole life for.

This feeling of completeness, the feeling that she was finally in the arms of the man she should be with, the knowledge that he felt exactly the same way filled her with a joy she knew she'd never tire of.

Finally as she slipped off his lap pulling him into her arms and toward the stairs she knew that no matter how Jack had chosen to leave them he'd never stopped caring. The fact that he'd made the decision not to have them watch him die was something she knew she'd never understand but right now she truly believed she could forgive him. As they made it through the door of her bedroom and she knew all her dreams and fantasies were about to become reality she knew that if it was the only good thing that came out of her friend's death she could live with that. She knew Jack would be completely self-satisfied and smug and the thought made her smile. Even in death he'd proved he knew what was best for her and that was something she knew she'd be grateful for until the day she does and met him again to hear him say "I told you so."


End file.
